Looking for distraction.
To hide away.
Not feeling my feeling.
Listening not to what they have to say.
Ignore my gift, let it waste away.
I’ll use it some other day.
Empty feeling, itch unscratched.
Something invisable holding me back.
Mental road block, involuntary action.
Searching through this world’s pointless distractions.
This well worn furrow that I mindlessly run.
How pointless many hours have become
Inaction, distraction, mind run away, sabotage, pain too large, am I ever in charge.
Not fear, but numb, immune to the warm sun.
Frozen I remain still living the same.
Waiting as others pass me by.
A world so confusing it makes me question why.
Am I the only one that feels this way.
That sees the insanity, that screams out hey!
Must our lives be in a vacuum of not living.
Can we not see the pain we recieve and are giving.
Caught in a bitterness so sweet.
That each others expectations are impossible to meet.
I fight, I hope I pray, that I will escape this feeling, this anchor some day.
To my daughter I will say.
Embrace your gifts.
Don’t hide them away.
This gift, this joy, this life, it’s lived this way.
Free from distraction, of what others think do or say.
Not caught in addictive negativity.
Never enter that misery.
But to ourselves we will pray.
What wonderous gift of mine shall I use today.